Faith and Family: God expects us all to control our emotions

Have you ever noticed how difficult it sometimes is to be obedient to Scripture? I’m not talking about obeying big things like not committing adultery, murder, theft, or idolatry. I’m talking about those commands in Scripture that tell us not to let our emotions rule us. Things such as “Fear not,” repeated more than 300 times in Scripture. Instructions to “Be angry and sin not,” to “Count it all joy when you fall into various trials,” “Love your enemy,” or to “Have a merry heart.”
One might almost be led to think God is suggesting we can control our emotions. In this world of road rage, temper tantrums, almost continuous bad news and daily minor crises, surely we cannot be expected to control our emotions.
Is it possible God is suggesting we must do so? No, He is not just suggesting it. He is actually commanding it. As I frequently tell my congregation, “God expects us to be actors, not reactors.”
Too often our emotions dictate our response to the events around us. Emotions are always a reaction to some event or happening. I didn’t get that “fill in the blank” I wanted, so how can I have a merry heart? We have difficulty loving our spouses at times. How can we possibly love our enemies? Count it joy when we are in the middle of some crisis? You must be kidding! It’s a great big, scary world out there. How can we not fear?
Yet Scripture constantly reminds us we have, within us, the ability to control the way we respond to situations in life. It is not always easy to access that ability and too frequently we are overcome by our emotions before we even begin to realize they have been activated. However, God never demands things of us that are impossible. They may seem impossible to us, but we must remember that “All things are possible with God.” The secret is, we can’t do it in our own strength.
All of us like to think we are strong enough to do what we have to do when the chips are down. Many of us can “hide” our weaknesses by gritting our teeth and going forward, regardless. We all tend to be “gunny-sackers.” A gunny-sacker is a person who encounters an emotional event, but rather than expressing that emotion, he or she puts it in a mental gunny sack. Before long, another emotional event is encountered, then another, and another, and another. Each time, the mental gunnysack gets an additional emotional deposit.
The day comes when that mental gunny sack is full. An emotional event occurs and the person attempts to stuff the emotion in the gunny sack, but the gunnysack splits open and all the emotions that have been stored are dumped on those who happen to be present. That leads to an over-reaction to the situation. At that point, emotions control the behavior of that person. Some folks have larger gunny sacks than others, but the pattern is the same. We may control our emotions for a while, but eventually they grow to such a size that we can control them no longer.
How can we keep this from happening? Scripture records that Jesus said, “In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” The implication is that we can also overcome the worldly issues we face-- with His help. We know Jesus overcame the world, but we struggle to find that same victory. The problem is that we usually don’t seek His help. To quote what my daughter would say when she was young, “I want to do it my ‘byself.’” We don’t like to admit we need help controlling our emotions.
Scripture clearly reveals the secret of controlling our emotions. Psalms 16:11 tells us, “... In Your (God’s) presence is fullness of joy.” Jesus says in John 15:7 “that if we abide in Him and His words abide in us, we can ask what we will and it will be done.” So if we ask Him to help us control our emotions, He will. However, because many people find it very difficult to admit a need for help of any kind, some never experience the “fullness of joy” King David talks about in the Psalms. But notice carefully: The key is being in His presence and abiding, or staying, there. If we will be totally honest with ourselves, we will have to admit our emotions control us only when we forget that Jesus is in control of “this” situation -- the one we are in at the moment. What causes the situation makes no difference. All that matters is whether or not we are in Christ.
When we are in Him – in His presence-- we have fullness of joy. That joy is the joy of the Lord and it is our strength. By abiding in His presence and allowing His joy to strengthen the spirit-man within us, we will be able to obey God’s commands to control our emotions, rather than allowing our emotions to control us. Like Paul the Apostle, we will be able to say: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”