Nothing can replace a family's guidance

I find myself in a bit of a reflective stance as my sons move forward with their lives.  My wife and I are extremely proud of our children (as I hope are all parents). 
With both of them through with school and gainfully employed in fields they enjoy, my bride and I have had the chance to reflect upon the years, the tears, the laughter, and the tough decisions that led us to this moment.  Raising children for us was a true joy – not necessarily always the easiest of tasks but certainly a joyful undertaking. 
We always acknowledged the gift that God had given us with our sons and we tried our best to do everything we could do take the best care of that gift.  Bad habits were changed, expenses were pared, Mom’s full time job became that of mother – not personnel manager. 
I know my wife and I do not regret a moment of the sacrifices we made, particularly as we now see our sons having become responsible young men.  In spite of the fact that we made what I feel were fundamentally correct decisions in raising our sons, we always recognized that we were so blessed.  As I often observed, “Pat and I probably did a few things right, but God gave us very good material with which to work.”  Some times it seemed as if our biggest task was to just not screw up what God had given us.
I recall evenings on the floor, wrestling with the boys.  A big night was a pizza I purchased on the way home from a business trip or sitting in the front room watching a movie while we ate sausage, cheese, and fruit.  While we were certainly not poor, we also did not have money to throw around.  The house we purchased was modest.  Early on we decided we would find a way to send our sons to private school because we felt that religious education was just as important as readin’, writin’, and ‘rithmetic.
In a very real sense the lessons we used in raising our sons were passed on to us by our parents, who also struggled with money, time, and energy.  With both my wife and I now categorized as “orphans”, we certainly have the opportunity to be a little more introspective and look back on what our parents gave us and ponder how we passed that along while hoping that our sons will do the same.
With both my wife and I now involved in very busy ministries we have had the chance to see other families work their way through the same issues we did.  Some, in spite of very meager circumstances, do an admirable job.  While others, even many times with more material blessings, just don’t seem to get it.  I cannot begin to fathom how parents can find money for beer, cigarettes, lottery tickets, and cable TV while their children do without basic necessities.  How did we as a society get to the point that the most important thing in so many lives is the big “ME”?  The ones who pay the price are the most innocent, our children.  It seems as if this is the “sins of the father being visited upon his sons.”
No amount of government spending, school lunch programs, or church retreats will replace the gift of a responsible parent’s love.  Those things, while well intended, are the equivalent of aspirin for cancer.  We need to teach our children the things that are truly important.  The Catholic Catechism teaches that “parents are the first teachers of their children.”  Not the schools or the churches, but the parents.  The schools and churches are your tools to work with and you as parents are responsible for the end result.  If your child cannot read, the time to scream bloody murder is not in his senior year of high school.  It is in second grade.  If your child doesn’t want to go to school or church, it is your duty as parents to intentionally ignore their wishes and see to it that what is best for them is done.  The only appropriate response in those situations is (as Father Paul told us his parents told him), “Get in the car!”
My wife and I went through all the same challenges, but by the grace of God we had the fortitude and perseverance to stick with the program.  I encourage all parents to not grow weak, weary, or faint.  Do not give in to either the whims of your children or the temptation of allowing secular society to do your job for you.  You are your childrens’ parents and you are responsible for them.
As I close, I have to apologize to Frank Sinatra, as “regrets – I’ve had a few” but never once my children.  God bless you, with love.